Rolling On My Friends
Today I was dancing with a group of my friends.
The dance form that I practice is called contact improv.
In this dance there are many times when
one person is laying on the ground
and another person is rolling on top of them.
We quickly learn to take another person’s weight
and feel comfortable with the experience.
We even learn to enjoy the feeling of compression
from another person rolling on top of you.
Too Much Weight To Bear
This afternoon I ended up dancing in
some larger groups of 4 and 5 people.
There were many times that I had 3 people on top of me.
That is well over 300 pounds of squishy bodies
rolling on me and pressing me into the floor.
At one point I found myself feeling extremely compressed.
I couldn’t breathe and my ribs were being jammed into the floor.
It was painful and extremely uncomfortable.
I wanted them off me, but I also didn’t want to
disengage from the experience.
Bearing the Weight With My own Effort
At one point I suddenly noticed
that I was trying to bear the weight
of all of these people on my body by myself.
I was pushing with my muscles and
trying to hold them up with my own effort
so I didn’t get flattened.
This strategy wasn’t working out so well.
The Floor Can Handle All Our Weight
I realized at that moment that
the floor was right underneath me.
The floor is more than capable of
holding all of our weight without any effort.
So I relaxed my body and let
the weight of my friends
flow through me into the floor.
Pain Transformed Into Joy
Suddenly I could breathe.
Suddenly the pain in my ribs disappeared.
Suddenly I could move and roll.
Most of all, what was an uncomfortable
and even painful situation
transformed into one of joy.
Trying to Hold the Weight of My Life
In the same sense I can see how I try and
hold up the weight and compression of my life
with my own effort.
The struggles and pain that I deal with every day
often threaten to overwhelm me.
I feel myself being compressed,
hard to breathe and my ribs hurt!
My Spirit Can Handle It All
Yet I know that my spirit is
infinitely powerful and able to
handle all the weight of my life.
Allow Myself to Be Supported
If I only allow that weight to
flow through me to my spirit
and let it support me through my trials
I believe a similar effect will occur.
The pain will lessen, my breathing will ease
and experiences that would otherwise be
extremely difficult can turn into
learning, growth and even joy.
This Is Perhaps What Is Meant By Surrender
Surrender is not giving up nor is it giving in.
Surrender is allowing the floor to support you
when 300 pounds of bodies are
squishing you and you cannot breathe.
When I surrendered all that weight to the floor
I wasn’t escaping the situation,
but rather I was able to be more present in it
and that is a beautiful thing.