My Baggage + Your Baggage = A Lot Of Baggage!
When two people come together to form a relationship of any kind
they are bringing the totality of their life experience into the picture.
It doesn’t matter whether this is a friendship, a family relationship,
a romantic relationship or a work relationship.
And of course in parenting.
In each case both people have a long history
and those histories have to find a way to work together.
Piecing Together The Puzzle Of You And I
We each have years of learning, joy and trauma.
It is like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle.
I have my pieces and you have yours.
In order for our relationship to work
we must make our pieces fit together.
Keep The Big Picture In Mind
Whenever we are doing a jigsaw puzzle it is customary to have
the picture on the box in front of us.
This shows us what the puzzle will look like when it is complete.
In the same sense in a relationship it is a good idea for us to have
a picture of what the ideal relationship will look like.
What Is Your Idea Of An Ideal Relationship
Create a picture of the best relationship you can–
mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Then keep this picture of the ideal in our minds
as we work as developing our relationship.
If we do then we will always be trying to make our puzzle pieces
as close to this wonderful picture as we are able.
Without even discussing any techniques or methodology of communication,
just having this intention as your primary motivating factor
will make a huge difference as you work towards
relating with one another in a harmonious fashion.
Sometimes We Forget The Big Picture And Get Caught Up In The Moment
It is the times that I forget the ideal am working towards
that I make inappropriately selfish decisions
and hurt myself, hurt the other and damage my relationships.
When I am aware of a higher motivation
then the circumstances of the present moment don’t control me as strongly.
I am able to think and feel in a more objective way
and make decisions that bring me closer to my goal.
Constant Attention Is Required
Admittedly it takes a lot of work to be conscious all the time.
To be self-aware and making intentional choices isn’t automatic.
And like any repeated behaviour, being conscious in your relationship
can become a habit. It can become your natural way of being.
The hard part is getting through the initial discomfort.
The effort is worth it however.
When the habit takes hold then
your relationships can soar to new heights.