The Importance of Language
I was at a dance event yesterday
and while I was waiting in line to get in
I was having a chat with a few friends.
We were talking about the importance of language.
I mentioned how my preference is
to use positive language most of the time.
Especially when talking about myself
I try and avoid using language
that puts myself down in any way.
The thing is though, I don’t use
the positive to avoid the negative.
I fill my life with positivity
so that I can have the strength
to face the negative.
Only by facing it am I able to deal with it.
Balance is Not Enough
My friend Nazeer, who reads my blog,
asked me if that was like balancing the yin and yang?
I said I don’t really love the idea of balance.
The way the term is usually used is that
we go part way to the Yin
and then back off
and go part way into the Yang.
Never really getting deeply into either.
Always hovering around the mediocre.
I said I prefer to be extreme in both!
He mentioned he had read that
balancing the yin-yang is taking the middle path.
I do like the idea of the middle path.
I just don’t like the idea of the mediocre path.
The two are easily confused.
I said imagine you have a stick and
you are trying to find the center.
In order to know where the middle of the stick is
you need to know where the ends are.
If you are hesitant or afraid
to go to either end
you can never really find the center.
This is why I allow myself to venture fully
into the part of me that is joy and love
as well as into the part of me that is pain and anger.
In facing and loving my extremes
I’m able to find my centre.
After I said that he turned to the other people there and said:
“Talking to Vivek is just like reading his blog.
It’s exactly the same.”
Everyone laughed, especially me.
That’s really what this post is about.
I love that observation.
It’s one of the best things
anyone has ever said to me.
It means that when I write these posts
I am really being myself.
That has always been my goal,
but to have someone else reflect that
is very gratifying.
This is something that I strive towards.
That I am myself in all the different parts of my life.
Whether I am parenting, dancing, romancing,
teaching, writing or delighting…
In all of these areas
I want to bring my authentic self to the table.
There are two main benefits to authenticity:
First it makes me happier and more fulfilled to be myself.
It takes a lot of energy to hold up a mask.
I think we all wear a mask much of the time
for fear of what people would think
if they see the real us.
I know I lived many many years that way,
but in the last little while I have worked hard
to reveal as much of myself to the world as possible.
I took the chance that I would be ridiculed,
and occasionally I have been,
but in the vast majority of cases
people have responded with acceptance and love.
In general I feel much happier
and more at peace for allowing myself this freedom.
This is also something I’ve taught my daughter quite intensely.
That she is free to be herself.
That she will always have my support to honour herself.
And to do her best not to let anything get in the way of that.
This graphic sums up the point pretty well:
The second reason why it is beneficial
to bring my authentic self to whatever I do
is that it helps others as well.
It helps them because
when they witness me being vulnerable
and open with who I am,
it helps them feel more free to do the same.
It makes it easier to connect and relate to me
As I’m opening my mind and heart
It also means that whatever I’m doing
will be of a higher quality because
I’m doing it from a more real place.
There is always a risk in deepening one’s authenticity.
The risk comes with a worthwhile reward though.
An increase in happiness and satisfaction for you
and a benefit and inspiration to others.