respect yo
Respect Yo!

I don’t believe children need to earn our respect.
We brought them into this world without asking them.
They come in open, pure and full of love.
I think that therefore they deserve our respect just for showing up here.

We Must Be Worthy of Respect

Our job is entirely to be worthy of their respect.
By endeavouring to earn their respect
we will automatically teach them how to respect others.

Respect is not automatic.
It cannot be achieved through pain.

Can I Force You to Respect Me?

How can someone get you, to respect them?

Let’s say they take away your computer if they don’t feel respected by you,
will you then respect them?

If they come over to your house and lock you in your room,
will you then respect them?

If they yell at you if you don’t give them respect,
will you then respect them?

What about if they hit you when you are disrespectful?

What negative behaviour on their part will earn your respect?

Perhaps if the consequence that this person forces upon you is intense enough you might alter how you behave around them, but you will not actually respect them. In fact I’m willing to bet you’ll end up resenting them.

This is what punishment and consequence do.
They build resentment and create mistrust and distance.

Real Respect is Earned, Not Forced.
There is simply no way around that.

The question is, do we want to raise our children so that they ACT respectful or so that they FEEL respectful? When we teach respect do we want to affect their authentic being or just to control and modify their behaviour?

This question is an important one and can be the guide for how we treat our kids.

Granted the authentic approach is much harder, more time consuming and requires CONSTANT change and growth on the part of the parent. This is why it’s often looked down upon and dismissed.

Let us stop thinking that we deserve respect because we’re parents or adults. Let us focus on what we can do to be deserving of that respect.

This means we will have to transform how we talk to our kids, what we expect from them and how we respond to them in good moments and difficult moments.

Deep Respect Can Bring About Global Change

I believe that raising children with this deeper vision of respect is a necessary ingredient in global transformation. It’s a simple thing to look around the world and see if the traditional parenting method did us good.

We have had people who were raised with punishment and control to be polite and respectful run the earth, the economic system, the justice system, the social system and look how that has turned out.

We need a change and it has to start with the kids.
Going back to more strictness isn’t progress.
Going forward with more compassion, understanding and Love is.

Now let us hear some words on respect from the master philosopher
Ali G.

Respect Yo!

2 thoughts on “Respect Yo!

  • May 4, 2015 at 9:15 am
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    Everything you suggest against in your parenting articles unfortunately I’ve done. My Son is 19 and doesn’t speak to me although we live in the same house. He’s a great young man, Polite and communicates with the world but Very disconnect from me. This hurts me more than i can express.!!! Is it too late?? Basically, I stay away from him. I wait for him to approach me while I stay open to anything he wishes to share. I sure don’t want to push him away any further. How do I start moving toward him?

    Reply

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