Many years before my daughter was born I knew I wanted to parent differently, but I had no information, no models to follow. I was trying to figure all this out as I went along.
I just figured that I would do everything opposite of conventional wisdom and traditional parenting!
I remember the first 2 or 3 years as a father were the hardest.
I was learning to deal with the big change in life and lifestyle that happens when a kid suddenly falls from the sky. I didn’t have a good understanding of my own emotions and they controlled me at times.
It took a while to find my Conscious parenting rhythm.
Protecting the Innocence
I do remember one of the most important things to me was seeing the innocence, the wonder, the playful sweetness in my daughter’s eyes and thinking “I must protect this and nurture it so she doesn’t lose it.”
It seems so much of traditional parenting just squashes the trusting and open nature out of kids.
I didn’t want that to happen to my daughter and I planned and worked to preserve it.
Now that she’s almost 18 I can still see that innocence in her.
Innocence with Wisdom
She is no pushover, she is very aware of the world and the things that go on, she knows that negative and difficult people exist and she is always learning how to deal with them. That’s just part of life.
But she has maintained an inner innocence.
Innocence with wisdom!
Many people equate innocence with ignorance,
but these two are not necessarily linked.
Freedom not Fear!
What I didn’t do was to create an atmosphere of fear in the home.
In fact the home is her most comfortable place.
It’s not MY home, it’s OUR home!
I have never held economic or physical power over her.
She feels she is an equal partner in this family community.
Her ideas, her opinions and her needs are valued equally.
So she feels her home is a safe place for her to be her true self.
The innocent nature is very vulnerable, especially when we are young.
It can be covered up by layers of protection so easily!
Making the home a safe place for my daughter to be herself
her vulnerable inner light was free to shine as she developed through her life.