How to Develop More Self-Love
I Love That Guy
Today I was talking to a friend and they had me on speakerphone
I heard the echo of my voice and told them so
“It’s no problem,
I love that guy,
he’s so beautiful”
It just came out of me!
That reaction comes from the Self-Love
and self-intimacy work that I do.
It was such a nice surprise to get from myself
My friend asked me for some tips
on how to develop a more
loving relationship with themselves
Here are some of the things I shared with them.
I hope they can be of some service to you.
1) Hug yourself like you’d hug a friend in need
Or a child that needs comforting.
Do it often.
Do it every day if you can.
When we can turn our love inwards
in a physical way
it affect our consciousness.
We can actually bypass the mind
and give ourselves the message that we’re loved.
2) Think of any good things you’ve done,
however small, and thank yourself for it.
Expressing gratitude to oneself is an uncommon act.
This acknowledgement reinforces
the notion that you’re worthy of love.
I just did it for myself as I am writing this
about something that happened this morning.
“Thank you Vivek for expressing your emotions so freely today.
I know it was vulnerable to do so and
I appreciate you taking the risk and being so open.”
It felt so good to receive that.
3) Observe the innocence of babies
and practice feeling that same innocence in your own heart.
This one can take time
because we’re quite far away from that state,
but it’s a beautiful feeling
once you can get a hold of it.
It is inside every one of us.
From the most violent criminal
to the most loving person,
we all have the same, pure spirit within.
Beyond our experiences, our trauma, our labels and self-identity
There is a wordless, idealess, painless wonder.
You don’t have to live there all the time,
but once in a while close your eyes and see if you can
feel that open and connected sense of yourself.
It is a very healing thing to do
and only takes a few seconds of inward attention.
Sometimes that can be more effective
than 2 hours of meditation!
4) Recognize that your errors, your faults and your pain
come from a desire to love, to serve and to be whole.
Sometimes we get caught up in
the struggle of life and
forget the reason we’re struggling.
This desire to love, to serve and to be whole
is in your core.
It springs from your essence.
Even when you act or react in ways you would rather not
at their root is the desire to love, to serve and to be whole.
Dig deep and find that inner motivation
when you feel like coming down on yourself.
For example, if I lose my temper when driving
(that’s one of my big ones)
I will often feel bad about myself.
Then I realize that I don’t like to be pushed around.
This comes from wanting to protect myself
because I was severely bullied when I was young.
My inner knowing is that no one should be bullied,
no one should be treated with anything but kindness
and I’m fighting against anything that threatens this.
Granted the method is often ineffective.
(due to my pain and triggers),
but the deeper motivation is one of purity.
When we can remember that
love is our root motivation
we can see ourselves as
a fundamentally loving being
and that feels nice.
These ideas are a good start on the journey
to loving and accepting ourselves.
The more intimate and loving a self-relationship we have
The more we’re able to offer love to others
And the more we increase our capacity to enjoy life.