Friendship Is a Divine Gift
I think that friendship is one of the most beautiful things a human being can experience.
Friendship can uplift us,
and educate us.
It is an opportunity for growth as well as a lot of fun.
The feeling of being with a good friend who understands you
is almost unlike anything else we can experience.
There is so much joy in that relationship
And it is a relationship.
A Good Friendship Requires Conscious Maintenance
It is important for us to maintain that relationship with intelligence and consciousness. Good friends open their hearts to each other and are vulnerable to each other in many ways.
This is something that happens naturally, but when it happens consciously
it can be an even greater experience of acceptance and love.
I want my friends to feel they can safely open their hearts to me.
I also want to feel safe in exposing my vulnerabilities with my friends.
I want to feel safe in my friendships
I want to feel safe everywhere of course,
but this is wildly unrealistic as we live in a very unsafe world.
There are dangers in every aspect of life.
There are risks in everything we do.
It would be nice if there were a couple of places
where we did not have to worry about those dangers and risks as much.
One of those one of those places, I believe, is friendship.
Perhaps the parent-child relationship is another.
Well not perhaps – definitely!
Clearly if you have read any of my parenting posts
you can recognize that I want children to feel
unreasonably safe with their parents,
A Balance Between Honesty And Kindness
One of the things that I personally require in order to feel safe in my relationships is a balanced combination of honesty and kindness. I am a big fan of both of these things, but I also find one without the other to be inefficient and unreliable.
It is the Yin Yang in action.
The blending of the opposites.
One running into the other in a harmonious dance.
I want my friends to be honest with me.
I want to know when I have screwed up.
I also want to know when I have done something well.
I think a good friend takes the time and makes the effort
to share both of those things with me.
When I know I can rely on someone to tell me the truth about myself
I feel quite comfortable sharing my life with them.
This is because I value growth and am always trying to be a better person.
When my friends are assisting me on this journey I feel such joy.
Pay Attention To The Quality Of Your Honestly
Having said that, I am not a big fan of the whole brutal honesty thing.
I do not see any benefit in hurting someone’s feelings unnecessarily
by being overly blunt with how I word things.
The quality of your honestly doesn’t decrease
when the quality of your kindness increases.
One can be kind and at the same time very honest.
I think it is actually more honest to be kind
because when we can express our thoughts and feelings to our friends
in a way that keeps their minds and hearts open
it actually allows the feedback to go deeper into them.
It allows them to accept more of what we are sharing with them
and therefore they receive more of our honesty.
Treat The Adult With Honesty, Treat The Inner Child With Kindness
Regardless how hard-hearted or into the blunt honesty a person is,
it still wounds us because every single one of us has an inner child.
That child is affected by how we are treated in every moment.
Usually the people who are talking about
how they want the blunt and harsh truth
are not taking loving care of their inner children.
There is in each of us this soft and vulnerable being
that requires a lot of loving tender care.
Make Friendship a Work Of Art
So real honesty and deep kindness combined together
can help to produce an atmosphere
of openness, love and real care for each other in a friendship.
This seems like a beautiful work of art.
I welcome anyone who wants to engage in this way with me.
Would you like to be my friend?