Earlier today there was a huge storm.
It was very brief and very violent.
I was visiting my mother in the afternoon and had just left her apartment.
As I walked to my car along the side of her building the wind was very strong.
The way the building is situated there is a powerful wind tunnel right in the parking lot.
The wind was so strong I had to brace myself.
I stopped in my tracks and dropped my bags.
I faced the wind and let the it rush over me.
Then the rain started and pelted my skin,
soaking me from head to toe.
The Ecstasy of Powerful Connection to Nature
The wind was so strong I could barely stand at times.
In these moments when it was seriously powerful
I was so overcome with emotion that I yelled out.
I felt deeply connected to the wind and nature
and in a way felt carried off by it.
I felt my worries and stress lift for a time.
There was an ecstasy in joining with this powerful force of nature.
When my teeth started to chatter and my body was shivering
I decided I had had enough.
I picked up my stuff and jumped in the car.
I was left with a feeling of exhilaration.
A Moment of Pure, Authentic Joy
I have been reflecting on that experience all day.
There was so much joy in that moment,
I felt very much alive.
I felt a certain authenticity in that moment that I don’t often feel.
It was really beautiful.
Joyous Experiences Contrast With Stressful Ones
My mind then wandered to other areas of my life
where I don’t quite feel that same connectedness.
In fact there is a lot more stress and busyness in my life then I prefer.
I think perhaps having moments as joyous
as my bonding with the wind
really highlights moments that are of a lesser quality.
I wonder how I got to this place where I feel
I am not completely satisfied with my life.
Dissatisfaction is a Sign Pointing Me Towards Something Better
I suppose dissatisfaction is a good thing
because being aware of what I feel is lacking in my life
can push me in a positive direction.
Of course for that to happen I have to follow that push.
I have to allow the dissatisfaction to lead me.
It is also possible for me to ignore it or just accept it
and live with frustration and unhappiness.
That of course is not my first choice.
Be Willing To Recognize and Not Run From The Pain of Unhappiness
It is not an easy thing to face and admit dissatisfaction sometimes.
I do think it is an important part of the road to a satisfying and fulfilling life.
I can feel inside me a sense of what I want and need
in order to feel truly fulfilled.
I think my next step is to go deeper within
and really pull that information out.
To know what a fulfilling life really looks like to me.
What do I want?
What do I want to be?
What do I want to do?
What do I want to have?
I think about these questions all the time
and yet I do not believe I really have answered them to my satisfaction.
So once again I must go deeper within and find
a more authentic vision for my life.
I also must make sure I do not push away my feeling of dissatisfaction.
For it is pointing me in a good direction.
Life is an inwards spiral.
Continuous growth, constant evolution.
Always moving towards a higher level of
authenticity, love and joy.