An attitude of ruthless honesty
and a burning desire to change
are necessary for true self-development.
For all the theories in the world will not help you
if you are unwilling to change.
All the books and CDs and seminars will not help you
if you resist change.
And resist you will.
It is natural.
Change is Painful
Change always has pain attached to it. Pain and loss.
These are necessary parts of change.
For every creation there must be a destruction.
It is the destruction that we fear.
It is the destruction that we avoid.
“I’m Not Afraid of Change!”
Even people who claim to embrace change
are not necessarily willing to go through the pain necessary
for PROFOUND change.
There is a comfort in believing we’re not afraid.
It can help us in moving forward.
There Is Always Another Layer
In my experience though, there is always another layer
of change, pain and fear to face
For myself I just assume that I’m resisting and afraid.
That way I can always be pushing myself to deeper levels.
As soon as I think I’m okay I’ll lower my guard
And that’s when my ego will trap me.
The deeper the change,
the deeper the pain,
the larger the loss.
And also the greater the gain!
We Must Learn to Accept Pain
We are conditioned from an early age to avoid pain.
It is rare for a child to be taught how to deal with pain in a healthy way.
To see it as a teacher. To see it as a gift.
All pain is a gift if we are willing to receive it as such.
The problem is as children pain was usually equated with
a withdrawal of love from our parents (aka punishments and consequences)
We never did learn to give ourselves care and compassion.
As adults we can give ourselves what we were denied as kids.
Unconditional love and acceptance.
That is the core attitude necessary in order to accept the pain of change
When we feel love for ourselves we can bear the pain easier
And allow deeper change.
Mistakes Are To Be Celebrated
Another aspect of change is making mistakes.
If we avoid mistakes because we have failure consciousness
Because we were criticized and condemned when we made them as children.
At the very least we were not celebrated for them!
Again we now have the opportunity to give ourselves that celebration
That we missed out on as kids.
Give Yourself the Message That You Are Worthy
I recently challenged a mother to celebrate with her child
When she got a D in math the same way she would if she got an A.
She thought I was crazy until I explained that she didn’t want her child to get the message
That her love was conditional on her performance at school.
Because that would translate into an inner message that her worth was also conditional.
Not an easy thing to do, but the message it sends
The self-image it creates is so powerful.
Live On The Edge
When we can make mistakes fearlessly
We can live on the edge of our learning and growth
The edge of the unknown.
For when we are on that edge we are bound to make a lot of mistakes!
The next time you make a mistake
Give yourself a little celebration.
A little dance?
The bigger the mistake the bigger the celebration!
The message of unconditional love for yourself has these 2 benefits;
1) That you can bear the pain of change
2) That you can allow yourself to make mistakes freely
With these skills nothing can disrupt your progress,
Your healing, your self-development,
your journey to your authentic self.